God is busy, call later

Ok, I just want to say something about “Praying” for something. Christians have this basic belief that God has a special plan, right? When somebody dies or something goes wrong, we go “It’s God’s will”. If everything that happens is “God’s Will” or part of God’s great plan, then who are we to go fuck it up with our requests?

“God, please help the Philippine team win a gold medal at the Olympics, they need a miracle ‘cause they suck”.

Right.

So what happens if it’s in Gods great plan to have another team win because sometime in the future, somebody from that team will rise to greatness. Do you think God will revise his great plan just because you asked?

Think about it. Praying for something is so fucking arrogant.

So stop being an asshole and leave God alone, or do you think that you can give God tips on how to run the show?

I didn’t think so.

So stop praying and be thankful that having an asshole for a supervisor/manager isn’t part of God’s great plan.

Oh, wait..

Crap.

School Spirit

i received this from a friend of mine via e-mail. I had such a good laugh at this that i HAD to post this here so that i can read this anytime i wanted to. Whoever wrote this deserves an award or something for having the balls to say what everybody wanted to say about those people who are so stuck up on which school they came from.

I hope whoever reads this enjoys it as much as I did.

On School Pride

Any of you catch the previous La Salle -Ateneo game? The one where La Salle blew a 15-point half time lead? The one that robbed many a Green's wallet and savings accounts of their contents? The one that most of you rubbed in my face the moment you saw me? Yeah, that one.

Well, it got me thinking of several things. Chief among which was how I can get away with bleeding Cardona's throat for choking YET AGAIN! But it also got me remembering about my college days. It seemed like eons ago and yet some feelings seem so fresh today even after 6 years.

I was a diehard Archer fan back then. Win or lose I'd be at the games, cheering and shouting for all I was worth. School Pride. You loved your campus and hated the others.

We all outgrow it eventually. Or do we? Let's test it shall we? Listed below are several schools and what I think of them. Try to see what you feel after reading what this jack-off had to say about your university.
Enjoy.


ATENEO

This school's trademark is arrogance. Nothing more, nothing less. I have, to this day, not met an Atenean who does not think that their school is THE best there is. Even La Sallites and um, uh, UP people (what do you call yourselves anyway?) are not this shamelessly boastful. This does not mean to say however, that they are all pricks and witches. Some of the best buds I have are Ateneans. All two of them. But come on! Seriously, the only thing Ateneo can claim to be the best in is creating a 2-hour gridlock over a road stretching 3 damned kilometers!!!

Oh, and Interdisciplinary Studies is NOT a course. It's Jesuit charity for the incurably dumb and lazy.

ADAMSON

Hmmm, let's see what I can say about Adamson. Well, there's the fact their school color is blue like Ateneo. Their team mascot is a bird like Ateneo. Aside from that, there's not a shred else. Damn this school is boring.

FEU and UE

Do any of you know what FEU stands for? Forever Useless! Yes, I'm an ass. But joking aside, the Far Eastern University and the University of the East are two schools whose names imply that at least one of them was founded by a group of people who had the creative, artistic, and imaginative prowess of a pile of rocks.

Seriously though, these are feel good schools. If you don't believe me try visiting either campus. The moment you see them, you start feeling good that you don't go there.

UP

Here's a school that, for better or worse, is totally bereft of any identity. Some people regard it as THE premier educational institution in the country. There are those who, for good reason, look at it simply as one big vicious playground. And others see it as a breeding ground for militant wannabe rebels who try to lobby for whatever cause they deem to be in the country's best interest. For those of you who can truly relate with the latter you have to be in your late 40's or 50's. Shit you're OLD!!! La lang.

I favor the first two views. It really IS the best educational institution there is. And I'm not just saying that because I'm surrounded all day by UP graduates who'd just as soon throw me off the 11th floor balcony given the slightest provocation as look at me. I really, really do believe...that they will kill me if I say anything bad against UP. Can you blame me? The only thing longer than the list of UP's distinguished alumni (Miriam Defensor included) is the list of all the in-campus violence. There's a psycho lurking deep inside each UP educated man/woman/child. This will be confirmed by the amount of hate mail I'll be receiving from them.

UST

Here's a school that will totally drag down one's social status just by being enrolled in it. I don't care how rich you are or how cultured you may be, if you're from UST it don't mean shit. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I know of several obnoxious AB kids who were brought down several pegs while studying there and are now some of the nicest, most unassuming people to walk this planet.

It's funny to note how much this place of learning mirrors the current social state of the country every time the UAAP season kicks in. Come the basketball tournament, they're all friends. You see them chanting, clapping, and giving each other high-fives. United by a common goal, the rich and the poor are united as one. After the event is passed, they all go back to hating each other.

DLSU

Di Lumusot Sa UPCAT. That's a classic ain't it? It's as hilarious now as it was when I first heard it in 1994, which is to say, it's about as funny as getting kicked in the crotch. It's sad to note for a proud alumnus such as myself that a school with as impressive an academic pedigree as La Salle has become nothing more than a money-hungry institution whose only requirements for acceptance nowadays seem to be a pulse, an IQ over 80, and the financial capacity/ability to pay.

Nowadays, whenever I incounter a person clayming to be from La Sall and they speech bad, have poor grammage, and cannot spill correctness, I am not surprice.

NU

I'm not even sure if this place is a real school. And I don't mean that in a snooty-you're-nothing-compared-to-my-school way. I mean I'm not even sure this place actually exists. I actually started believing that its initials really stood for Negative sa UPCAT.

Think about it. Do any of you really know anyone from NU? Do any of you even know of anyone who knows anybody from NU?

And if any of you even point to their basketball team and the audience that watches its games as proof of its existence, I beg you to think of this point. They act like absolute maniacs and they even look the part.
If we go by that, then the National University is not a school. It's a correctional facility.

CSB

This school has had a bad rep since the day of its inception. Admittedly, it started out as a place where DLSU can deposit its non-performing students so as not to give up the sizeable revenues from those hopeless bastards who have the money to shell out but not the ability to count it.

Everybody knows this already.

What people don't know is that CSB now boasts of fine world class courses designed to equip the Benildean with the tools necessary to succeed in the real world. These courses include Basic Arithmetic majoring in the Multiplication Table, Whining with a specialization on Tantrums, and the ever popular Strategic Investments: What to do with your Parents' Money.

CRC/UAP

Them Opus Dei folks can slap it with whatever initials they deem fit, it would still not change the fact that this school will forever be known not by its academic achievements but more by the fact that it is the only school with a car to student ratio nearing 1:1. (No my dear CSB students and alums, that is not read as one colon one.)

The meanest thing one can say about CRC is that it's a school filled with students rich enough to be Ateneans, but will never be smart enough to be such. The nicest thing one can say about CRC is that it's near a Starbucks open until 2 am.

Now I realize I might have offended some people out there. Let me tell you right now that I am whole-heartedly and humbly sorry. I am sorry that you have no sense of humor and nobody had the heart to whack your uptight head when you were growing up.

For those of you did appreciate this, I give seminars on insensitivity and creatively callous writing. Feel free to email me.

Peace and chill folks.

-psycho!!!

Now It's Time

This is a poem my sister wrote about my mom to help her deal with her pain. I wish I could have written something like this.

It’s Time

Jesus came to me one day
and told me
“It’s time to take her away”
Before I can answer, “No, not yet!”
He said, “She’s tired she needs to rest”
I asked Him, “ Lord, why her, why me?”
“I’m not yet ready , can’t you see?”
He gave me an answer, he gave me a smile
“Don’t worry my child you’ll be apart only for awhile”
I didn’t listen, I thought it was unfair
The pain of her loss is too painful to bear.
I asked once more, “Jesus , can’t she stay?”
“Any price I would be willing to pay”
He looked at me and held my hand,
“Her time is up, you should understand”
“But how could I live without her by my side?”
“I will always be with you”, he calmly replied.
I rested my head on His shoulder
I told Him, “Jesus, please take care of her”
“Yes, my child, I’ll take her with me,
In heaven she’ll be peaceful, contented and happy”
“Thank you Jesus, now I can let her go,
But can you tell her how much I love her so?”
“That my child, I need not do,
Because even before, she already knew”

I made this poem to start my healing process. I will just leave it all up to Him because I only survive with the assurance that mommy is happy in God’s kingdom. Let us continue to pray for her.

-JEWEL-

Suffer the sins of the past

I once said that i will never regret anything i have ever done in the past & I held on to those words with pride. I knew that whatever i went through in the past, whatever decision i made, i will always be 100% sure that i did those things with full confidence that i was doing the right thing. That i will look back and say "What i did then, no matter how bad it seems today, was the best decision for me at the time . It's one of the reasons i'm me."

For the first time in my life, i look back and i see that i did do something that i wouldn't be proud of today.

i'm sorry. only you know what it is. look closely. it's gone now.

like a deranged person trying to clean away the excesses of his guilt.
His shame.

I erased mine.

This is nothing.

But i cannot go on knowing that the one thing i regret doing still exists for all people to see,

I'm sorry.

for every ounce of pain this gave you, i give myself ten years of suffering.
for every tear that falls from your eyes because of this, i give myself ten years to make it up to you.

nothing can undo the pain i caused you.
but i will die trying.

forever, i will be by your side.
forever i will show you how nobody else can love me the way you do.
forever, i will show you how special you are. how nothing in this world will ever compare to you.
i will show you how much you mean to me. How much i love you.

Forever.

or i will die trying.

Missing you

*I should have posted this a couple of weeks back but i didn't have time then *

July 28, 2004
I just finished eating lunch (which sucked ) and I still couldn’t stop thinking about you.

I arrived in the office at around 9:20 and went about my usual morning routine.

Turn pc on, get water, chit-chat with tine, follow up on tasks assigned by PM’s and whoever. I chatted with joe a bit about the movie project handled by dan. The usual bullshit that keeps me alive by giving the impression that I’m working and that I know what I’m doing.

While I was talking with joe, dan and tine (which began to get pretty boring after the third sentence spoken) I received a message on my phone, it was you. That literally made my morning, and I excused myself from the conversation and made my way to the nearest phone….which was beside chino. I was actually considering not calling you because I REALLY didn’t want to sit beside chino as I saw him picking his nose a while back. So I gathered enough courage, approached the phone, shot chino a “touch me and I’ll kill you” look and started to dial your number.

I wanted to hide my face when you picked up the phone because I really must’ve looked like a complete idiot smiling like there was something sucking on my….. and so we talked and time stopped for me. Has anybody ever told you that you have the most sexiest phone voice when you’ve just woken up?

And so I went back to work…

My meeting with regie Pablo started at around 11:30, alex (who was included in the meeting) and I really wanted to eat, so we cut the meeting short and almost threw regie out the door when the meeting ended.

(oh you called again during the meeting, but when I called back, the line was busy)

So we had lunch, as mentioned above, and had an uneventful cigarette break, and so here I am.

More later.

Have iItold you that I can’t work since my mind has been screaming your name and demanding that I either look for a way to be with you right now or it shuts down indefinitely?

*sigh*

I love you.